I don’t even know where to start. I’ve been lying here for ages, but too many thoughts are whirling around my head.
Lets start at the beginning.
I was thinking about myself and traits of mine. About how, in times of great stress, we learn who we are.
Cliched, I know.
Remember me telling you about Ten Tors?
Oh the 2nd day of the event, I found myself walking with our team leader. Personally, I didn’t know him well – he was in the other half of the year – though he genuinely seemed really nice.
I remember actually plucking up the courage to tell him what a fantastic leader he was being, how amazing the team was and how I literally could ‘t have done it without them.
That may seem like nothing, but it’s plagued me since: why don’t I do it more often?
Was it the special circumstances of the experience? It should ‘t have been.
Was it because he was looking like he needed someone to tell him how amazing he was?
Probably.
I should do it more often.
We should do that more often, as a species.
Just… Tell someone that what they do is amazing.
Then there is the problem of my future.
Now problems are relative to the individual, right? I have a friend who feels so much pressure to get A*s in all of her subjects that I can’t bare it, let alone her. I also know people who struggle to get Cs. The enormity of the problem depends on a persons perspective.
I don’t know why I wrote that. I do know it was important though.
I don’t know what I want to do in life.
Very very few 16 year old do!
When ever anyone asks me, I say “medicine”, because I wanted to do that at one point. I have so man things I want to do!
Our P4L teacher said to have a plan B, incase of… Well, life getting in the way.
My plan B is less likely than plan A!
Plan A was always to get 4 A levels, try for Peninsula medical school, get the degree, go and do a post grad in Glasgow.
Plan B was more obscure – Write a book.
I have always wanted to go to Uni, so I am considering a Creative Writing course… Bu it seems so far fetched and illogical; everyone wants to write a story but only a few get theirs published.
This isn’t some stereotypical teenage angst-y dream. I’ve had this… Thought, hope, wish… Haunting me since I was about 7. Ever since a book affected the way I perceived the world. It was a Roald Dahl book.
I have never said aloud the words
“I want to be an Author”
Because it’s such a childish dream.
But it isn’t as simple as just wanting to sell books.
I want to have the same affect on people that other authors did with me. To help them have different points of view, to push them towards original ideas and having their own opinions on things.
I guess if writing is what I am truly passionate about, then I can’t go far wrong.
Right?
A confused Shannon and half past 12am.
... That's what people do, isn't it?? Write a blog? 