My friends are awesome

As I have said before, my friends are awesome.

And, with the permission of one of my friends, as long as I don’t let you know who, this is one of our conversations. You can’t see the pic of them as a reindeer, because you’ll see their face. But, you know, the actual convo is pretty funny.

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My half is the half in blue…

I don’t know, okay, I thought it was pretty funny and was laughing my head off as I typed the convo.

On an unrelated topic, I may have another short story coming soon, so, if you like what I write, keep your eyes peeled for that!

Shannon.

Cheer up, cheer up, don’t be blue!

So I’ve been away a while. Sue me.

It’s nearing exam season and I’m refusing to get stressed: me and stress don’t work well. It goes along the lines of me getting worked up about something, me keeping the feeling bottled up inside me, until they come bursting out either in the form of a angry raging rant, or screaming silently into my pillow.

Which isn’t a very good method of stress relief.

I have been revising, but not the the extent I probably should have… Also, I’m really lazy, so I’ll put it off until the latest possible point.vanyway, that wasn’t what I wanted to bring up.

I had two points of discussion today, one positive and one negative.

I’ll start with the good, right?

I’ve finished my first proper short story!!
I know I did one on here but this one is an actual one. With a start, middle and end. WTH a (kinda) plot. And I’m actually proud of this one!
Sure, it’s a little disturbing. Yes, it contains violence, blood, murder and a psychopath. But, you know, I like it.
I might post it on here, we’ll have to see…

Onto a slightly more depressing route…
Do you ever have times when you just do stupid, inexplicable things, that seem like a bad idea at the time but you do anyway and the consequences are even worse than you thought? And afterwards, when you’re having a really rough day, or someone say a little comment that really bloody hurts, you just remember every single stupid thing you’ve ever done.
And you think you’re a massive screw up, because of that one stupid mistake you made 4 years ago that you will never forget, not matter how trivial.
Then, for some reason, this feeling gets worse and worse until you start thinking about potential screw ups in the future and about how no uni will ever accept you because of that one time you started an argument between friends, which happened 6 freaking years ago and you can’t believe you still remember doing?

Just a reminder to anyone who does feel this way: YOU ARE NOT ALONE

In the words of Cecil Palmer,

Pasr performance is not a prediction of future events

I think this is the most encouraging thing. But, if you don’t think so, have a beanie selfie, and smile.
🙂
Shannon.

Life based on SPN

So I finally started watching series 9 of Supernatural.

It’s been an emotional 14 episodes so far… My favourite character is still Crowley, because he’s a sarcastic ass with the best lines in the show. I don’t even care if he is the King of Hell, he’s still the best.

Anyway, I came to the conclusion that the world is split into Sam and Deans.

The Sams in the world are those of us who constantly try to better ourselves. The ones who, when dealt a crappy hand, know its not our fault, and will try to make ourselves better to over come it.

The Deans on the other hand are those of us who take the blame. It’s our fault for not being good enough, and we think that we never will be good enough. Of course, we still try to do the right thing, but most of the time things go wrong and, yet again, that’s our fault as well.

Then you have the Cas’. We’re the ones who hold faith that everything will work out regardless. We believe we do the right thing, because we see no other option, even though it might not work out to the best of our abilities. We accept that we’re not perfect, but console ourselves with the fact that we’re trying our damn hardest.

Obviously, some people are a couple of these and some are neither.

I think the most well rounded of us are those who share similarities of all three; that’s what makes the trio in the TV series work. They balance each other out.
Shannon.

Happy 1 Year anniversary!

I find it insane that I’ve been blogging for a year. Or, just over a year now.

12 months.

I’ve been writing about my incredibly boring life for 12 months.
Shall we see what I’ve actually done in that time? It’s been a very busy year!!

Well, the list of things I’ve become obsessed with has increases by miles since then!
I was already into Supernatural, but I’ve become creepily obsessed since my first post, as you can probably tell from the obscene amount of crappy fanfiction on here…
Sherlock is a thing I’ve gotten into since starting this blog. It was either just before or just after starting a year ago. We’ve had Season 3 too, and I’m part of the season 4 hiatus… It freaking sucks!
Marvel and the Avengers… I never did post that Avenger fanfiction, did I… Ah, I probably never will now. It wasn’t that great, anyway.
Star Trek… Thanks to one of my best friends Eleanor, I am now rather obsessed with that… For Christmas I got the original series on box set.
I started listening to Welcome to Nightvale in September and am hooked. It’s creepy and that’s what makes me love it so much. Give it a listen!

Then there’s my most recent obsession. This is mostly my friend Findlay’s fault, though he had help from Katie, a friend from camp.
Rooster Teeth. Achievement Hunter. Red vs Blue. Basically anything done by these amazingly awesome people on the Internet. I only start watching their stuff in December (and had my second All Nighter ever!) but it feels like I’ve been watching it forever. This is the main reason I have trouble realising a year has past; a year ago, I didn’t know Rooster Teeth existed!!

Like I said, busy year.
Ten Tors.
Exams.
Marsna.

I think these are the most significant things I have blogged about but since March 2013, so much has happened, I’m slightly worried about how fast it has actually gone!!

I realise I haven’t shown you guys that many photos, so I’m gonna add in some here…

So some of these photos are from camp, some are just random ones of me and my friends and one is from me and my sister getting our exam results.
They’re all from the past year.

Thank you all for putting up with me, and reading what I have to say for a whole year!! I hope we can have more just like it.
Shannon.

Fears for the future. Again.

I’m typing this on my ipod for the first time in an age, ao sorry for the abundance of typos.

Its late on a sunday night and i have school tomorrow but my freaking brain wont let me sleep. So i’m writing.
Im writing about the future. Again. Because it seems to be plaguing my every waking (and should be sleeping) moment.

When you were 16, did you have any idea what you wanted out of life? And I’m not just talking job, but relationships, family, places travelled, achievements unlocked, all of it.

I gonna go out on a whim here and say you didn’t. Most adults i’ve spoken to didnt when they were 16.
So how can teachers, parents, the bloody government expect us to make life changing decisions?!

It takes me at least 5 minutes to decide what chocolate bar I want, let alone what A levels I want to study!
I dont have a freaking prom dress yet, let alone start looking at uni courses to take!

There are a few things I am certain i want to do in my life though.
I want to hVe written a full novel length story. I want to have gone to Austin, Texas and met the Rooster Teeth crew and got a hug off of Ryan because apparently, he’s very cuddly. I want to have properly, legitimately fallen in love at some point.

But everyone wants somethings.
Financial security. Friends. A family that loves them.

Most people aren’t happy in their job. I guess this is what I’m most afraid of, over spiders and clowns and rejection. Its being stuck in a dull job everyday for the rest of my life.

It would be like going to school forever.

Shannon.

Music is our soul.

Hey guys!

…
What? Were you expecting an apology for not updating? I’ve been swamped with school work and stuff, and then I was just lazy. Don’t know where this came from.

Music is a funny thing, don’t you think?

You can listen to a song and suddenly, you’re brought back to a time or place where you were a lot happier, or a lot sadder. A few chord patterns and you’re filled with emotions.

A couple of lyrics floods you with memory and longing. Longing for the past you, where you were so much more innocent.

The longing gets so much worse when you play/sing the song yourself. Because then it becomes so much more personal; you’re doing it your own way and filling it with these emotions.

But then, you can listen to/play a song and and feel empowered, sad, happy, angry.
It’s how we can express emotions.
But we’re using other people’s words, other people beats and chord pattern or notes, and we’re not alone anymore. Other people experience identical feelings and it makes us feel better.

Shannon.

Sorry I haven’t posted in so long, but here’s some humiliation…

So I realised today in school that I am actually stupid.

I hit myself in the face with my iPad the other day, and my nose has come out in a big red lump. I’d feel like Rudolph except its not on the tip, but further up.

At a maths revision session, I way tying my shoelace and a friend wanted to go past, so I kind of bunny hopped out of the way, tripped, and almost crashed into a table…

And the mother of them all…
My guitar has less strings than my ukulele. And it’s my fault…

Basically, the G string broke (bow chicka bow wow) so I went to buy a full pack of strings. And, like the idiot I so obviously am, I thought I’d be able to restring it myself.
Well…

So I walked 40 minutes to the shop, and the guy said
‘If you have any problems, come back and I’ll show you how to do it. No point in just wasting the pack and having to buy a new one.”

Walked 40 minutes home.

Started to do it…
I stupidly thought it was necessary to remove 3 strings- G,B and E, to re-attach the G string. So I did. Then the G snapped.
I was ready to cry.
That was easily the most angry I’ve been in forever. I was more pissed off at myself, to be honest, because I hadn’t listened to the guys advice.

Then I made it worse.
I tried to reattach the high E string…. It broke.

So, basically, my guitar has the low e, A and D strings. That’s it.
I have the low e, A,D and high E strings to replace it.

I’m such an idiot. Like, I’m academically clever but the most stupid person you will ever meet.

Shannon.

Why I can’t say no…

It isn’t easy admitting that you don’t want to do something.

Some people find it really difficult to admit that they do want something.

I find that it works both ways. For example…

When I go to a friends house, and their parents ask me if I want a drink or food, I will always say no. I get that it’s okay to say yes, and they won’t think any less of me if I were to say yes, but, I still won’t. There is something about it that just makes me feel really awkward and uncomfortable. Generally, I’ll speak when spoken too, but won’t start small talk… I’m terrible at it. Again, it’s the uncomfortable thing.

However, I also can’t say “no” when people ask me favours. Every single freaking time, I’ll find someway of guilting myself into it, and then I’ll just get really stressed out about it!

For example, at Rangers.

I was asked, a few months ago, if I wanted to do my Adult Leadership award, enabling me to be a leader at a generic guide group when I turn 18. At the time, with everyone staring at me, watching me judging me I felt kind of pressured to say yes. Which, I know is stupid, because they weren’t!

But it felt that way.

Tomorrow, I go back to my old Guides, to help out as a young leader. I couldn’t say no to this either… Again, I wasn’t pressured into it, but I would have felt guilty about saying no, like it would have caused some kind of problem or something. Now I’m stressing out.

It’s stupid little things, things that will probably never come into reality and I’m just making a big deal out of nothing. I tend to do that a lot.
A lot, a lot.

There are people in this world who consider it normal to just tell people what they think, and not worry about stupid, inconsequential things. Then there are also people, like myself, who will worry about any tiny detail, having grown up with the phrase “What can go wrong, will go wrong,” lodged firmly inside my head.

Does anyone have any tips for not doing this? It’s simple just to say “not think about it” but a lot harder when you’re used to doing nothing but think about it.

Please? I’m freaking out here!
Thanks,
Shannon.

My first Doctor Who convention experience.

Firstly, thank you to one of my best friends, Lewis, for inviting me to go in the first place.

Yesterday, I went to Plymouth Who, a Doctor Who convention-thingy based in my home city, Plymouth. It was to celebrate Tom Baker’s 80th birthday. Happy birthday Tom Baker!

It was amazing!

For the first time I sat and watched an entire ‘Classic Doctor Who’ story, with Tom Baker and Louise Jameson. It was called the Horror of Fang Rock, and, surprisingly, I enjoyed it immensely. The first episode was a bit slow, and I found my thoughts wondering to more current events. But then the second episode came on. I was hooked on the story line! To those teens my age, who think Classic Who is boring because “the Doctor isn’t hot,” or “there’s not enough action,” the storyline is one of my favourites. Next to Blink, but then, I do like the scary ones.

When we had finished watching, there was a question and answer session with Louise Jameson, who played Leela alongside Tom Baker. I don’t mean Tom Baker played Leela… Oh, never mind.

I haven’t met anyone from the TV before, so I had no idea what to expect, but she was really nice, honest and just lovely. When she signed my book and picture (I won bingo… I never win bingo!) she was friendly,casting about my name and whether I was Irish. To be honest, I may have come across as a little rude, but it was just nerves.

There were two younger girls who had a life sized K-9 dog on a leash.
K-9. On. A. Leash.
Next Christmas pleasant idea *cough* whosaidthat*cough*

Sometimes, I get the feeling that Doctor Who fans are considered a bit weird, eccentric even. Well… That was mostly true. We were all a bit odd!
It made me really happy to see a room full of people who had turned up just because it was Doctor Who. This being my first time at an event like this, I didn’t feel like an outsider.
All my life I’ve been thought of as “the weird one,” or “the nerdy girl who likes Doctor Who and Harry Potter.” But, sat in that room alongside other people who probable felt the same way as me, I wasn’t lonely. I wasn’t weird, or strange, or a nerd.

That’s what I really love about Doctor Who, I guess. The Whovians can stand together, get along and are just so proud to be ourselves! It brings people together, who maybe other wise would have been left out in the cold. But here, inside the T.A.R.D.I.S, everyone fits.

Shannon.

Update: New Years Resolution

My New Years resolution is going well: I’ve written something every night before bed!

On the nights where I’ve posted blog entries, I haven’t done anything else, because, believe it or not, I have started thinking about what I post on here.
But I’ve written… A poem, a Red vs Blue song parody which I may post either the lyrics here, or on my SoundCloud… I’ve done one fanfiction for Red vs Blue, am planning another, and am almost finished with my Marauders fanfic.
That will be up in the next week, I promise.

Then there’s a couple of journal-ish entries, where I’m just writing the thoughts as they pop up in my head.
It’s a new form of talking to myself and its actually really helpful!

(This doesn’t count as something I’m writing for my resolution, this is just an update on how it’s going).

Shannon.