Self consciousness.

Not understanding the science behind this topic, I really am going by my own personal experiences.

I am an incredibly self conscious person.

I know everyone has these moments, where they feel like everyone is staring at them, or judging them or whatever. I get that this is a very common issue. Which is why I’m bringing it up.

Someone said on tumblr that it is a form of social anxiety and, while I don’t know if this is true, for me at least, the symptoms are similar.
My heart beats really rapidly, shortness of breath, not being able to meet eye contact, not being able to talk to people, paranoia that I’ve done or said something wrong… The list goes on.

Sometimes this occurs in the middle of a social event, sometimes it occurs before. There are even times when it happens way after the event took place and you are left unable to stop thinking about it or criticising how you behaved, which renders you unable to sleep, so you stay up writing blog posts at midnight. Sometimes that happens.

It isn’t something I have control over and it certainly isn’t something I enjoy people witnessing. The questions people ask make me feel worse, somehow.
I hate being touched when I feel self conscious, so if I snap at you not to hug me, please don’t.

Usually, I want to curl up and hide, because, well, I don’t want people to look at me, talk to me or even know I’m there.

Now is one of those times. I am alone in my room, in the dark, at midnight, and I feel self conscious about what I did during the day. Which isn’t rational, because chances are, I’m the only one who remembers any of it. Chances are, i affected nobody’s life in such s way that they remembered anything I did today.

That doesn’t necessarily make me feel better…

Shannon.

Astrology and Harry Potter: one thing that could be real and one we desperately wish was real.

I’ve recently been looking into astrology and if there is any truth behind it.
When I say recently, I mean literally 2 minutes before typing this.

It started when I did a Harry Potter quiz, you know, one of the ones that sort you into a House?

I was placed in Slytherin, which doesn’t really surprise me. Despite the common belief that Slytherin is the house full of the evil, bad guys, it isn’t really. All the bad witches and wizards might have come from there, but that doesn’t mean all the witches and wizards from there are bad. Slytherins know when to best look out for themselves, because they know no one else is going to do it for them. They are cunning and ambitious, not necessarily bad traits to have, but dangerous in the wrong person (like Voldemort).

This got me thinking… Is there any relationship behind me being a Libra (my astrological sign) and my being placed in Slytherin?

After a brief search on Google, apparently, there isn’t. Because everyone would class Libras as any of the other three houses, but not Slytherin. Libras are considered kindhearted, gentle and lovers of peace. We are just, diplomatic and balanced. On the negative side, we are detached and superficial.
The positive ones don’t sound very Slytherin, do they?

Well. Slytherin are ambitious, right? They want to get to the top? Being diplomatic is a fantastic trait to have to get to the top… Being able to hear both sides of an argument and judge which one is most likely to be right, and cause you less stress…
Also, being just? Justice is a two way street: I am prepared to face my punishment for doing something wrong. On the Slytherin side, if someone has wronged me, they have to face punishment,
Balanced… Well, we’re not all Voldemorts. He was wrong, there is good and evil, but the lines are blurred. I thinks that’s what both Libras and Slytherins do. They tread the line.

Slytherin Pride!

Shannon.

(P.S, I spent a night (a whole night, I didn’t sleep) watching The IT Crowd. 10/10 would watch again. Have watched again. Seriously, it’s like the Big Bang Theory but a million times funnier.)